what you see is not the real me

and what do i care if you judge me by:

appearance, perangai, sikap

clothes, with tudung or not, baju murah ke mahal

grades, aku manusia normal juga yang layak mendapat A atau C atau gagal terus

kereta webby model mid 90s yang ringan boleh terbang

pendiam ke banyak cakap ke

kakak aku cantik, kenapa aku tidak? (rujuk gambar. yg dicari semata2 sbb minggu lepas ada banyak kali perbincangan tentang kebaya antara saya dan rakan2.)

eh aku sudah melebih-lebih ni.

i started out thinking i wanted to write a, naturally, entry with a tinge of emo-ness or runsing or gelisah tanpa sebab. then i decided what the heck, life will drag you down with it even if you scream yourself hoarse. go with the flow saje, i know it's still clichéd but who cares, who cares, who cares.

ini hidup saya.

so letting go is somehow easier, like smiling is easier to do rather than frown, mengalah is easier than standing your ground, tido saje is easier than berterusan membuat keje. heheh.

okay don't take me seriously, kesimpulannya hanyalah buat saja apa yang kamu mahu.
sebab setahun yang lalu saya cool macam air batu, but this year i'm not that cool.

did i melt?

hehe sronok btul entry merepek camni untuk menyedapkan hati. okay, mari balik keje. i love you all, my fans. jangan tolak-tolak, saya tau saya kachak.

oh ya. one more tip. i especially love it if someone's face lit up when they saw me. my nephew, my friends who've been waiting. etc. so i've been trying to do the same to everyone else, and believe me, aunty cleaner kat sini amat suka men-senyum kembali kat saya. hehe. so next time when you see me dari jauh ke dah dekat ke, sila senyum dengan gembira. i will love you so much, i promise.

all it takes is just a smile.

kata-kata

what will happen if the last words are "don't let go..."

oh, don't stay away from Juliet~

well, this is one of the times when i love a song so much, nothing can stop me.

We were both young when I first saw you

I close my eyes and the flashback starts

I'm standing there on a balcony in summer air

See the lights, see the party, the ball gowns

See you make your way through the crowd and say hello

Little did I know

That you were Romeo; you were throwing pebbles

And my daddy said stay away from Juliet

And I was crying on the staircase, begging you please, don't go

And I said Romeo take me somewhere we can be alone

I'll be waiting; all there's left to do is run

You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess

It's a love story - baby just say yes

So I sneak out to the garden to see you

We keep quiet 'cause we're dead if they knew

So close your eyes

Escape this town for a little while.

'Cause you were Romeo, I was a scarlet letter

And my daddy said stay away from Juliet

But you were everything to me

I was begging you please don't go

Romeo save me they're tryin' to tell me how to feel

This love is difficult, but it's real

Don't be afraid we'll make it out of this mess

It's a love story - baby just say yes

I got tired of waiting

Wondering if you were ever comin' around

My faith in you was fading

When I met you on the outskirts of town

And I said

Romeo save me

I've been feeling so alone

I keep waiting for you but you never come

.Is this in my head? I don't know what to think

He knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring

and said

Marry me, Juliet you'll never have to be alone

I love you and that's all I really know

I talked to your dad, go pick out a white dress

It's a love story baby just say yes

We were both young when I first saw you...

You electrify my life!

feel the buzz yet?

so i haven't heard Starlight by Muse on the radio for a long time now. it died with time and with new music, but it will never die within me. muse is so wonderful, why? because i like songs with lyrics so deep i cannot understand but thoroughly meaningful, can give many different interpretations and the music rocks, okay. lagipun muse mula digemari saya ketika cuti lepas spm tatkala rakan2 taiping setiap kali keluar bersama akan gila nak beli cd muse, download lagu muse, pakai t-shirt muse macam budak2 zaman sekarang pakai t-shirt hujan tapi itu macam annoying sikit lah.

so i like muse. take the name, for instance.

Etymology :From Middle French muse from Latin Mūsa

n
A source of inspiration, especially a woman providing inspiration for a male artist.

(archaic) A poet.

v
to muse

(intransitive) To become lost in thought, to ponder.

(transitive) To say (something) with due consideration or thought.


Kamus Inggeris-Melayu Dewan

a poet whose ~ has deserted him, pensyair yg kehilangan ilhamnya. (remember my entry with the same name? here's the inspiration.)

Muse n Dewi Kesenian: Clio is the ~ of history, Clio ialah Dewi Kesenian dlm sejarah.

beautiful ^_^

would love to include lyrics for you readers to muse upon.
tapi korang semua mesti dah tau sendiri kan. so, starlight is nice with electrifying my life and igniting all the souls that would die just to feel alive ;p

but my favourite has always been...

unintended

kisah diriku...

...seorang perobek plastik yang berjaya.

(aku suke betul ngelat menulis entri, kan? hehe)

and the sun will set for you...

...but it won't rise for me.


***


kempunan sekali, dua kali, tiga kali.
hat-trick.
tahniah, villa.

(jgn pedulikan ke-random-an ini.)

to-may-to, to-mah-to.

you guessed it right, once again i'll emphasise (BrE) and emphasize (AmE) on the difference between american and british english. might be going deeper this time.

inspired, or maybe annoyed, by the flyfm crew this morning sebab ia kedengaran macam gimik la about the usage of 'eleven hundred ringgit' which means RM 1100. true, americans use that often and we malaysians being educated with british english since primary school might not all know that it means seribu seratus sebab dengar macam sebelas ratus.
in 2nd grade, my teacher scolded me kaw2 punye because i wrote 'color' and 'neighbor' instead of 'colour' and 'neighbour.' i went home and marah2 my mother sebab saya ingat dia ajar salah because what i learned was with the suffix '-or'. my earliest education was in virginia, washington dc. not malaysia or united kingdom. of course we used '-or.'
same goes for judgment (AmE) and judgement (BrE).
and the difference between phrases and words such as windshield (AmE) and windscreen (BrE), license plate (AmE) and number plate (BrE), vacation (AmE) and holiday (BrE) etc. (which, comes from the Latin word et cetera meaning and so forth.)
but times have changed now and i think any kind of english is accepted.

what? any kind? i thought there's just two!

ohmygod you're wrong. have you forgotten australian? and maybe irish? singaporean? and our very own manglish?

it just means that the same thing has many different versions and we just have to accept and adapt.

you see, a language develops. starting from the Tower of Babel until now. the story begins where once upon a time the people in a place called Babel all speak the same language and they have no trouble communicating. then they decided to build a tower to reach the heavens. because of their excellent communication, the tower was built quickly. it almost reached the heavens when God got angry and punished them by making the people all speak different languages. they have trouble communicating and the tower could not be finished. well that was the history of translation, when people worked hard to understand each other and translated their different languages. ever wondered why the movie 'Babel' is named that way? or the most credible translation website is called Babelfish?

(btw, please correct me if im wrong about the Tower of Babel story. it's in the bible aandd..i've never read the original version lah kan.)

and don't get me started on borrowed words:-

sukkaar arabic and sugar english
souvenir french-to remember and souvenir english-memento

okay taknak bagi banyak.
what about the influence of Cockney English in the english language itself?

"why don't you take a gander at our house."

gander comes from hook and gander.
hook rhymes with look, so in the sentence above, gander means look.

Cockney English is kinda confusing for first-timers. for more info, just google it but if you want to hear interesting examples, watch My Fair Lady or a rather cool one, Ocean's 11 (or any of its sequels) and listen to the black bomb guy. he speaks Cockney English. saya tak tipu.

okay? but that's not all. i could fill up an entire dissertation just talking about our own language and bahasa serumpunnya (brunei dan indonesia), let alone combining it with english and its different types.

hope you readers like this additional information.

and another trivial info here, my sangat-garang-tak-ingat-punye chemistry teacher during matriculation was the one who persuaded me to take this course and making me what i am now. walaupun saya sangat suka kimia. walaupun kimia ialah subjek terbaik saya (next to english) masa matrik. walaupun saya kata cikgu, saya nak amik anything chemistry-ish time U nanti. i could have been her star student and continuing her cikgu-kimia-yang-garang legacy, but she gave me a slight nudge in this direction for me to pursue what i love most.

language.

and now i'm doing my best to stop subtitles such as 'lilin bikini' for 'bikini wax.'

owhh. T_T

taggy waggy lagi

I have been tagged by Aimy Izyan:

ONE.

If your lover betrayed you, how will you react?
Kelu tak terkata buat seketika kemudian cuba meneruskan hidup seperti biasa.

TWO.

If you can have a dream come true, what would it be?
Aha~ Mimpi saya menunggang My Little Pony menaiki pelangi.

THREE.

Whose butt would you like to kick?
Teens of 90210. Gile kaye-raye. Nak dating pun bleh naik private jet pegi San Fran from LA. Padahal belum abis sekolah menengah lagi. Kaye betul, rase nak marah je.

FOUR.

What would you do with a billion dollars?
Bayar utang-piutang belajar serta clearkan credit card ahli keluarga kemudian beli rumah kat Puncak Bangi atau Country Heights beli kereta baru yang boleh bergerak amat laju lepas tu lebih2 dia buat pegi holiday melawat keliling dunia.

FIVE.

Would you fall in love with your best friend?
Ia terlalu rumit dan terlalu...geli. Itu kawan baik aku, tidak teringin pun nak jatoh chenta kepadanya.

SIX.

Which do you think is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?
Uh-huh. This is a neverending circle lah. You get one with the other. If you love someone, then certainly that someone is loved. So he is being loved by a someone that's you. And so on.

SEVEN.

How long do you intend to wait for someone you really love?
Hm? Tiada masa mahu tunggu. Lambat tinggal. Hehe. Nasib baik dia cepat ;p

EIGHT.

If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?
Rasa kecewa kejap lepas tu pegi main jauh2 dan cari yang tak bersambung.

NINE.

If you were to act with someone, who would it be? Your gf/bf or an actress/actor?
Cannot imagine neither.

TEN.

Would you invite your Ex bf/gf to your wedding?
Aiyoo. Mahukah dia datang? Ada je yg telah berubah menjadi kawan biasa so ajaklah kot.

...bila saya nak kawen?

ELEVEN.

How would you see yourself in ten years time?
Masih comel dan baik hati tapi lagi tua dari sekarang. (duh~)

TWELVE.

What’s your greatest fear?
Saya takut hantu.

THIRTEEN.

What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is
baik hati funny suka bergelak ketawa seperti saya!

FOURTEEN.

Would you rather be single and rich or married but poor?
aih. saya mahu kawen. pastu, tadi kan dah dapat satu bilion? whee~

FIFTEEN.

What’s the first thing you do when you wake up?
pikir camane agaknye nak tido balik without being late for work.

SIXTEEN.

Would you give all in a relationship?
yah..i hv a weakness..a tendency to give all..lepastu kena betray hancur hati padan muka.

SEVENTEEN.

If you fall in love with two people simultaneously, who would you pick?
Tak baik tauu perbuatan itu. Ish. Tak baik. Tak baik!

EIGHTEEN.

Would you forgive and forget no matter how horrible a thing the someone has done?
Susah. Tp eventually forgive juga and forget tu lambat sikit.

NINETEEN.

Do you prefer being single or having a relationship?
Sewaktu single memang bes tapi being in THIS relationship lagi bes.

TWENTY.

List 5 people to tag
malas pulak. sesape nak buatlah.

sekali lagi, sendiri...atau memang selalunya begini?

in the list of priorities,
rupanya that chaotic friend mengatasi...

*mencari spell yang hilang*

~~~

settled. i have my 5-year plan. sekarang nak take it into action, kayuh pelan2, slow and steady wins the race.

~~~

tunggulah pukul 5.

*sigh* lambat lagi.

eh. pukul 5 saya adalah pukul 4 kamu.

^_^

dan saya teringat saat emotikon itu digunakan selepas saya menyatakan kekaguman tentang "...bayangmu dilatari rona jingga mentari senja yang menjadi situasi impian untuk ditembak, baik panorama mahupun potret..."

saya cuma teringat sahaja.